Stories for Khufu
Prince Khafre, made during his lifetime, from about 2550 BC. It was discovered in 1860, buried under sand, at the altar of his temple, right in front of his pyramid, which is the 2nd great pyramid. His father’s pyramid is ‘the great pyramid’.
Prince Khafre stood up one evening and said, "I will tell a wonderful story which happened in the time of your great grandfather, Pharoah Nebka. He had gone to the temple of Tah in Memphis, to make an offering, and he also took charge of the ceremonies himself, with the chief priest of Tah beside him, a man named Ubainer.
Now, Ubainer's wife was having an affair with a citizen from the city. She had given her maid a trunk to deliver to him, full of clothing for dressing as a housekeeper, and he would visit her during the day like this. Then he learned Ubainer had a lakeside cottage on his rural estate.
He said to her, "There's a cabin on the estate, isn't there? Why don't we spend some time there?"
Ubainer's wife told the groundskeeper to open up the lake cottage for the season, and make it comfortable. Then she spent a day there drinking and satisfying herself with the citizen from Memphis. When evening came, he went to the lake and washed himself in the water.
The groundskeeper happened to see this, and the first thing next day he went to Memphis to see Ubainer, and said, "Your wife has done something in your lakeside cottage with a common citizen. Then I saw him come out and go to the lake to wash himself."
Ubainer said, "Bring me my devices, the ones in the ebony chest decorated with electrum. I will craft a messenger."
He made a wax crocodile, 4 inches long, then read out a spell, "If you see a man bathing in my lake, eat him up!"
He gave the crocodile to the groundskeeper and instructed him, "The next time this citizen goes to my lake to wash himself, toss the crocodile into the water after him."
The groundskeeper kept the wax crocodile ready, and the next day Ubainer's wife said to him, "Have the lake cottage made ready again, I desire more relaxation."
The cottage was prepared with everything she could want, then he arrived and Ubainer's wife had another holiday with the citizen from Memphis.
When the sun set, the citizen went to the lake to wash himself, as was his daily habit. The groundskeeper threw the wax crocodile into the water, and suddenly it became a crocodile 10 feet long, and swallowed the citizen in one bite.
Ubainer was with Nebka at the temple of Tah in the city for 7 days, and all the while the citizen was at the bottom of the lake in the belly of the crocodile.
On the 7th day Nebka was tired, and the high priest Ubainer said to him, "I have received word of a wonderful new development. Would your majesty care to see a rare wonder, a citizen underwater!"
Nebka went with Ubainer to the lake, and Ubainer summoned the crocodile, calling out, "Bring the citizen immediately!"
The crocodile came out and Ubainer said, "Release the citizen."
It vomited him up, and he was unharmed.
Nebka said, "That is a terrifying crocodile!"
Ubainer bent down and picked up the crocodile, and in his hand it was a wax crocodile only 4 inches long. Then Ubainer described to the king what the citizen had been doing with his wife in the lake cottage.
Nebka said to the crocodile, "The man belongs to you." Then the crocodile ate him for real and slithered away, down to the depths of the lake. Nebka also arrested Ubainer's wife, and took her back to the capitol with him, where he burnt her, leaving her ashes to commune with the Delta's mud. This was one of the wonderful things which happened during the reign of your grandfather, a thing the high priest Ubainer did."
Khufu said, "I will give a public feast with a thousand loaves of bread, a hundred mugs of beer, an ox, and two censers of incense, to the memory of Nebka eternal. And they will sacrifice a loaf of bread, a mug of beer, a cut of beef, and a censer of insense, to the memory of the high priest Ubainer. I have seen his wisdom."
And so it was done.
On another evening Prince Baufre stood up, and said “I will tell your majesty of a marvel which happened during the reign of your father, Pharoah Snefru, accomplished by the high priest Djadjaemank. It shows the brilliance of that age, and was unprecedented. One day Pharoah Snefru was wandering around the palace, looking for releif from his boredom.
He said, "Bring me the high priest, Djadjaemank."
He came right away, and Snefru said to him, "I've been to every room in the palace, looking for something to satisfy me, but I've found nothing.
Djadjaemankh said, "You should sail around your realm in a specially equipped boat, manned by the most beautiful young women. You will become lighthearted watching them row up and down. You will observe the nesting places in the wetlands, surrounded by the curving banks."
Sneffer responded, "What a wonderful idea! Bring me 20 ebony oars, decorated with gold, with soft leather handles studded with electrum. Recruit 20 women with shapely bodies, firm breasts, and braided hair, who have not yet gotten pregnant, and provide them with 20 nets to wear in place of their clothing."
And it happened just like that. They were rowing up and down, and his majesty was happy watching them row. Then one of the woman at the stroke oar pushed her hair out of her face, and her turqouise tiara fell into the water. She froze in shock, not rowing. Then all the women stopped rowing.
His majesty said, "Why have you stopped?"
They said, "Our stroker has stopped."
"Why has she stopped?"
She said, "My tiara which was just set with new turquoise has fallen in the water."
His majesty said, "Whatever you desire, I will replace."
She said, "I want mine, not a copy."
His majesty said, "Bring Djadjaemankh."
He came right away.
"Djadjaemankh, my brother, I have followed your advice, and I was feeling refreshed. Then a tiara set with new turquoise, belonging to the stroke leader, fell into the water. Then they all stopped rowing, and I asked why they weren't rowing, and they said their leader had dropped her turquoise tiara into the water. I told her I would replace it, but she said she wanted hers and not a copy."
Then Djadjaemankh uttered his words of divination and folded the water in half. He found the tiara lying on a broken pot, and brought it back to it's owner. The water was 20 feet deep but after folding it was 40 feet deep. He spoke more magic words, and the water returned to it's normal place.
Then his majesty spent the rest of the day on holiday, and afterwards rewarded Djadjaemankh with every good thing. This was a marvelous thing which happened in the time of your father, Snefru, eternal. An act by the high priest and scribe of books, Djadjaemankh."
Then Khufu said, "Let us offer a public feast with a thousand loaves of bread, a hundred mugs of beer, one ox, and two censers of incense, to Pharoah Snefru eternal. And let one loaf of bread, one mug of beer, and one censer of insence, be sacrificed for the high priest and scribe of books, Djadjaemankh. I have seen his wisdom."
And so it was.
Prince Hardjeff was the next to stand up and speak, and he said, "You have heard about the accomplishments of the past, where truth cannot be seperated from lies. But in the present day lives a miraculous man, and he is unknown to you."
His majesty said, "What are you talking about my son?"
And Hardjeff said, "There is a citizen said to be perfect, and he lives in a state of perfect bliss. He is a common citizen, 110 years old, and every year he eats hundreds of loaves of bread, beef shoulder as his meat, and drinks hundreds of mugs of beer, to this very day.
"He knows how to rejoin a severed head, and can train lions to follow him without a leash. And he also knows the number of chambers in the temple of Thot."
Now, Khufu had long sought these hidden chambers in the Temple of Thot, so he could build similar chambers for himself.
Khufu said, "Hardjeff, my son, bring this man to me."
Ships were readied for Prince Hardjeff, and he sailed south to the land of eternal bliss. When he reached the end of the river, he traveled on land in an ebony wood carriage, framed with cedar, and decorated with gold.
When he reached the perfected man he stepped out of his carriage and stood upright to greet him. He found him lying on a soft couch on his front porch, with a servant massaging his head, and another massaging his feet.
Prince Hardjeff said, "You are eternally youthfull and thereby avoid the eternity of death and reunion with dirt. You snooze in the sun like a baby, healthy and free of coughing. You are indeed a perfected person. I have come to summon you with a request from my father, Khufu eternal. You will eat royal food, and courtly food. He will ensure you die well and are buried alongside your ancesters."
The perfect man said, "Peace be with you, peace be with you Hardjeff, a son loved by his father. May Khufu be happy with you, and praise you above the elders. May you triumph over your enemies and follow the right road to the gates of the blessed. You are indeed a royal son."
Then Hardjeff held out his hands and helped him to stand up, and they walked to the riverbank, arm in arm.
Then the perfect man said, "I need another boat for my children and my scrolls."
Then he was served by two boats and two crews, while the perfect man travelled north with Hardjeff on his yacht.
When they reached the palace Hardjeff reported to Khufu. He said, "My lord, I have brought perfection himself."
His majesty replied, "Bring him to me," and then took his seat on the throne.
Perfection was ushered in, and Khufu said, "How is it, most perfect one, I have not heard of you before?"
The perfect man said, "Your subjects arrive when summoned, my lord. Call to me, and I arrive."
His majesty said, "Is it true was they say, that you can rejoin a severed head?"
The perfect man said, "Yes, I know how."
Khufu said, "Bring a prisoner serving a life sentence, and cut off his head!"
But the perfect man said, "Not to a person, my lord! Doing such things to the noble flock is prohibited!"
So a goose was brought and beheaded. The goose was placed on the west side of the hall, and it's head on the east side. Then the perfect man said his magic words, and the goose stood up and shuffled, and its head as well. When they found each other the goose was just like normal, and waddled around quacking. He had a stork brought and beheaded it. Then he had a bull brought, and its head was cut clean off and fell on the ground. Then the perfect man said his magic words, and the bull stood up even though its head was still on the ground.
Then Khufu said, "I have heard that you know the number of chambers in the temple of Thot?"
The perfect man said, "Please forgive me, I don't know the quantity my lord, but I do know where a tally is kept."
His majesty asked where?
The perfect man said, "There is a chest carved from flint in the sacristy at Heliopolis. It is in that chest."
Khufu ordered him to fetch it, but he said, "My lord, I am unable."
His majesty said, "Then who can?"
The perfect man said, "The eldest of the three twins who are inside the womb of Rudjet. He will bring it to you."
His majesty said, "I want it now! But who is this woman Rudjet?"
The perfect man said, "She is the wife of a modest priest for the temple of Ra in Sakba, who will give birth to three children for Ra lord of Sakba, and they will be be priests of Ra for all the land. The eldest will become chief priest at Heliopolis." (Chief priest of the sun in sun city.)
His majesty was frustrated, and the perfect man said, "What troubles you my lord? Is it because of these 3 children? The first is your son, the second will be his son, but the last will be the son of Ra."
His majesty said, "When will Rudjet give birth?"
"On July 15th."
"But that's when Two Fish canal is unnavigable, and I wish to be there myself!"
The perfect man said, "I will ensure the water is at least 6 feet deep in Two Fish canal."
His majesty left his palace and said, "I wish for the perfected man to live with my son, Hardjeff. Give him a yearly allowance of a thousand loaves of bread, a hundred mugs of beer, an ox, and one hundred bunches of vegetables."
And so it was. Then after many days Rudjet went into labor, but was having trouble giving birth. The majesty of Ra in Sakbu called to Isis, Nephythys, Heket, and Knum, and said to them, "Please help Rudjet deliver her 3 children, for they will be the chief priests in all the land, and they will build your temples, inspire your priests, fortify your endowments, and increase your evangelism."
The goddesses transformed into muscians, and Khnum accompanied them carrying their equipment. When they reached the house of the priest of Ra at Sakbu they found him in a panic, and naked, his kilt having slipped loose during the emergency. They offered him music and dancing but he said, "My ladies, please, a woman is in labor and she's having trouble giving birth."
They said, "Let us see her, we are also midwives."
He showed them to Rudjet, and they went in and locked the door. Isis took the lead, Nephthys supported her, and Heket was the midwife.
Isis said, "May you be gentle to your mother, I call you Self-important." (This is a play on the kings real name, Userkaf/Powerful for the soul, but she calls him Useref/Powerful for you.)
The child slipped into her hands, 21 inches tall. His bones were firm, his skin was golden, and his hair the color of lapiz lazuli. They washed him and cut the umbilical cord, then they put him in a crib made of bricks.
Then Heket inspected him and said, "A king who will rule over the entire land!""
And Khnum made his body strong. Isis and Nephyths were still with Redjet, and Heket again tended to her.
Isis said, "Don't hurt your mother, I name you Sahure." (This is the name of Pharoah Sahure, which means 'Close to the sun'.)
The child slipped into her hands, 21 inches long with firm bones, golden skin, and hair the color of lapis lazuli. They washed him, cut the umbilical cord, and placed him in a crib made of bricks.
Then Heket inspected him and said, "A king who will rule over the entire land!"
Khnum filled him with strength, and she again helped with the birthing.
Isis said, "Do not hide in there, I call you 'Triplicate'" (This is a play on the name of Pharoah Kakaj, which means 'high souled', but she calls him 'a copy'. KAkAi versus Kkw.)
The child slipped into her hands, 21 inches long, with firm bones, golden skin, and blue hair. Then Heket inspected him and said, "A king who will rule over the entire land!"
Khnum filled him with strength and they washed him, cut his umbilical cord, and placed him in a crib made of bricks.
After delivering the 3 children, the goddesses left, saying to the priest, "You should be as happy as the sun at noon, you have three healthy children."
He said, "My ladies, I am indebted to you. Please accept this modest payment, all I can afford, a sack of malted barley which you can make beer with."
Khnum added the barley to his load. Then they set out for home, but Isis said to them, "What have we accomplished? Didn't we come to perform a miracle, so we can do as our father asked?"
So they made three amazing crowns, and hid them in the granary. Then they brought a storm with rain, and headed back to the house, to say, "Please, can you put our barley that you gave Khnum in a dry place, for safe keeping until we return from our trip north."
And so they stored away the grain for them. Rudjet purified herself in the bathroom for 14 days, then asked her husband, "Is the house still in order?"
He said, "It has everything we could need, except for beer."
Rudjet said, "Why not?"
He replied, "We have no more malted barley, except for what we are holding for the musicians."
Rudjet said, "Make beer with it. You can repay them with the equivalent in seed barley."
Then he went into the larder and heard the sounds of singing and music, parades and crowds cheering, everything kingly but just in that room. He left and told Rudjet, and she went as well, but couldn't tell where it was coming from. Then she put her head to the grindstone and discovered what was happening. She placed the items in a chest, which she placed in another chest, and sealed it with leather straps. Then it was quiet.
When Reham returned to her, (her husband, written this time as Ra-wsir, a priest at the temple of Ra in somewhereville, central Delta) Rebecca (ie, a slur on Rudjet, spelled RdDdt) explained her solution, and he was very happy. They celebrated by taking time off from work and devoting a day to beauty. A few days later Rudjet got into an argument with her maid, and punished her with a beating.
The maid replied, "Why should I tolerate this? You have given birth to 3 royal heirs, and I will tell his majesty Khufu what you have done to me."
She left and went to her eldest brother, on her mothers side, who was grinding flax into wool.
He said to her, "Why have you quit, little girl?"
She told him.
He said, "So you felt the need to come to me, and tempt me to condemn your employer as well?"
Then he took a whip made of flax and beat her. The maid ran away for a fresh life, but a crocodile ate her. Her brother went to tell Rudjet, and he found her kneeling down, crying from grief.
He said, "My lady, why are you crying?"
She said, "Your sister who grew up in this house, she has run away vowing to denounce us."
He hung his head and said, "My lady, she came and told me, and sought to make me an accomplice, but I beat her. Then she ran off to an oasis, where she was eaten by a crocodile."